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Poor Blinky

I am beside myself with angst as I got this email this morning from Online Creatures Great and Small with a Smattering of Toads.

Dear Mr. Payne:

We are writing to inform you that we will not be able to fill the order you placed with Online Creatures Great and Small with a Smattering of Toads. No one has ever placed an order for a three-eyed toad with us before and, frankly, we were unaware that we had one in our inventory. But once this matter was called to the attention of our Scientific Research department, we had no choice but to turn the toad in question over for further study. We would hope if you plan on placing any more orders with us in the future that they be of a more mundane variety and not so…bizarre.

We are also sorry to inform you that Online Creatures Great and Small with a Smattering of Toads has a NO REFUND policy. Better luck next time.

We have attached a recent photo so as to help you attain closure with the loss of what was to be your future pet. Though why anyone would want a three-eyed toad for a pet is beyond us.

Sincerely,
Arnold Animus, Customer Service
OCGSST


ARRGH!! Blinky! *sniff sniff*

(Gang, I will place this last photograph of Blinky behind the cut, so as to give each of you the option to either pay your last respects or remember him as he was in previous posts.)

 

 


 

Comments

( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
wendigomountain
Jun. 4th, 2009 03:46 pm (UTC)
We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him faster. Stronger, erm...Hoppier.

FREE BLINKY!!!
marshallpayne1
Jun. 4th, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
I'd never considered that, Clint. There's hope for him yet! ;-)
samhenderson
Jun. 4th, 2009 04:12 pm (UTC)
Sue the bastards!
marshallpayne1
Jun. 4th, 2009 04:17 pm (UTC)
Great idea, Sam! That might make all the headlines and news feeds and make Blinky and me famous. Though on the down side it might be expected of me to write novels about magical toads for the rest of my career. But who knows? Blinky could be the next Harry Potter!
bogwitch64
Jun. 4th, 2009 04:48 pm (UTC)
Bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
marshallpayne1
Jun. 4th, 2009 04:53 pm (UTC)
Best damned toad in the whole damned Clubhouse. Virtually speaking, that is.
sacredmime
Jun. 4th, 2009 05:23 pm (UTC)
Oh no!! I'm sorry to hear the news. :O
One thing I didn't understand...Why are they giving him acupuncture?
marshallpayne1
Jun. 4th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Rod! ;-)

Why are they giving him acupuncture?

That's just part of the fucked up customer service that Online Creatures Great and Small with a Smattering of Toads provides. Hard to get good help nowadays, I guess. *sigh*


kara_gnome
Jun. 4th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
Ah, well, toaday it's a far, far better place he goes...I'm sorry he croaked, but seriously, 3 eyes? Hold out for four, no one cares about four-eyes.

;*)
musingaloud
Jun. 4th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
Arghhh! Poor Blinky. Alas, I did not know him well. But I'm sure I would have liked him if I had. May his brains be scrambled forever.
(no subject) - marshallpayne1 - Jun. 4th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - marshallpayne1 - Jun. 4th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
jjschwabach
Jun. 4th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
Nooo!!!!!!

Sue them!
Clone him!
Perform CPR!
marshallpayne1
Jun. 4th, 2009 10:43 pm (UTC)
I guess giving up my boyhood dream that never reached fruition--having a magical pet three-eyed toad to carry around in my pocket--would be giving in too easily.

I do think it's a bit late for CPR, though there's a taxidermist down the block who's probably in need of work. ;-)

Edited at 2009-06-04 10:43 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - jjschwabach - Jun. 4th, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - marshallpayne1 - Jun. 4th, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
marshallpayne1
Jun. 5th, 2009 12:12 am (UTC)
They killed Blinky! Bastards!

That's one version. The one I'm telling. But there are still those who believe I created this whole apocryphal tale in order to take my SSF on an emotional roller coaster ride over the past three days in order to get hits on this site. Hum…? ;-)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - marshallpayne1 - Jun. 5th, 2009 04:21 am (UTC) - Expand
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birdhousefrog
Jun. 5th, 2009 12:59 am (UTC)
OMG! HIGH SCHOOL FLASHBACK! AIEEEEEE! he was pithed! Oh, poor Blinky! I'm so sorry for your loss.
marshallpayne1
Jun. 5th, 2009 01:04 am (UTC)
Thanks, Oz. It looks like I'll have to go through life now without having a magical three-eyed toad to carry around in my pocket. Oh well. But as Jimi Hendricks sang, "But that's okay. I still got my guitar."
(no subject) - birdhousefrog - Jun. 5th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - marshallpayne1 - Jun. 5th, 2009 01:22 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - marshallpayne1 - Jun. 5th, 2009 01:44 am (UTC) - Expand
southernweirdo
Jun. 5th, 2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
NOOO!!!!!!!!!

God rest his amphibian soul.

:(
marshallpayne1
Jun. 5th, 2009 10:53 pm (UTC)
You'll probably NEVER name a "pet" of mine again, if I'm gonna kill him off that way, huh? :-)

Edited at 2009-06-05 11:38 pm (UTC)
( 35 comments — Leave a comment )

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